In the Beginning

In the Beginning is the first mission of Crosscraft and the Overcraft.

Intro

 * Orange: Hey Apple! Apple! Hey! Hey Apple! Hey! Apple! Hey Apple! Hey Apple! Apple! Hey! Hey Apple!


 * Apple: What? What? What is it?!


 * Annoying Orange: Orange ya glad I didn't say "Apple" again? (laughing)


 * Apple: Yeah, yeah. That joke was funny the first 400 times you said it.


 * Annoying Orange: Hey Apple!


 * Apple: What?


 * Annoying Orange: You look fruity. (laughing)


 * Apple: Yeah, th-that was hilarious.


 * Annoying Orange: Hey! Hey, Apple!


 * Apple: What?


 * Annoying Orange: Can you do 10 push-ups in 10 seconds?


 * Apple: What kind of question is that? I don't even have arms. How am I gonna do 1 push-up?


 * Annoying Orange: Hey!


 * Apple: What?


 * Annoying Orange: Hey Apple!


 * Apple: What?!


 * Annoying Orange: Can you do this? (tongue flips)


 * Apple: No!


 * Annoying Orange: (after stopping) Try it!


 * Apple: No! Stop it


 * "(Orange continues)"


 * Apple: Okay, you've made your point. Stop it!!


 * (Tongue flip continues)


 * APPLE: WOULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET?!?! For cryin' out loud, would you stop yammering for longer than 3 seconds?! I can't even hear myself think!! AAHH!!


 * (hyperventalating)


 * Annoying Orange: Hey, Apple!


 * Apple: WHAT?!?!


 * Annoying Orange: Knife.


 * Apple: Huh? (slicing sound) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 * Annoying Orange: Ooh. Ah. I-I warned you. Ow. That looks like it hurts.


 * Apple: NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH............


 * Annoying Orange: Tried to warn him.


 * (long silence)


 * Annoying Orange: Hey, Pear!


 * Pear: Oh, God.

Game

 * Phineas E. Sherman: I'm gonna show you Sugar Rush!

Outro

 * Ralph: (voice-over.) My name's Ralph and I'm a bad guy. Ah... Let's see I'm 9 feet tall. I weigh 643 pounds. Got a little bit of a temper on me. (in game.) Hey, you moved my stump! (voice-over.) My passion bubbles very near the surface, I guess, I'm not gonna lie. Any who, what else? Uh... I'm a wrecker. I wreck things. Professionally. (in game.) I'm gonna wreck it! (voice-over.) I mean, I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know. The thing is, fixing is the name of the game. Literally, "Fix-It Felix, Jr".
 * Nicelanders: Fix it, Felix!
 * Fix-It Felix Jr: I can fix it!
 * Ralph: (voice-over.) So, yeah, naturally the guy with the name Fix-it Felix is the good guy. He's nice enough as good guys go. Definitely fixes stuff really well. But, uh, if you got a magic hammer from your father, how hard can it be? If he was a regular contractor, carpenter guy, I guarantee you would not be able to fix the damage that I do, as quickly. And when Felix does a good job, he gets a medal. But are there medals for wrecking stuff really well? To that I say, "HAAH!". And, no, there aren't.
 * (indistinct conversation.)
 * Kid 1: So cool!
 * Kid 2: This animation is so real!
 * Ralph: (voice-over.) 30 years I've seen doing this and I've seen a lot of other games come and go. Kinda sad. I think about all those guys from Asteroids? Boom! ...Gone. Centipede? Who knows where that guy is. You know? Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at. I'm very lucky. It's just... I gotta say, it becomes kinda hard to love your job when no one seems to like you for doing it.
 * [all humans leave arcade]
 * Yuni Verse (Dance Dance Revolution): All clear! The arcade is closed!
 * Ryu (Street Fighter): Shoryuken! Woo… what a day. So, you wanna head to Tappers, Ken?
 * Ken (Street Fighter): If you’re buyin’ buddy.
 * [in Fix-It Felix, Jr’s game]
 * Fix-It Felix, Jr: Quittin’ time!
 * Ralph: (voiceover) I dunno! Maybe I won’t be feeling this way if things were different after work. But… it is what it is.
 * Fix-It Felix, Jr: Good job, everyone!
 * Ralph: (voiceover) Felix and the Nicelanders go hang out in their homes… which he just fixed and every… you know… They go to their homes, I go to mine… which happens to be… a dump. And when I say "a dump", I don’t mean like a shabby place. I mean an actual dump. Where the garbage goes and a bunch of bricks… and smashed building parts. That’s… That’s what I call home. I guess I can’t bellyache too much. I got my bricks, I got my stump. It looks uncomfortable, it’s actually fine. I’m good. But… if I’m really honest with myself, I see Felix up there… getting patted on the back. People are giving him pie. Thanking him and.. so happy to see him all the time. Sometimes I think… Man! Sure must be nice being the good guy!